24.2.07

McMercenaries

"Democracy™ and Freedom™ are registered trademarks of Globex Corporation. No person or persons may participate in either Democracy™ or Freedom™ without explicit written consent of Globex Corporation. The views implicit in Democracy™ and Freedom™ are not necessarily those of Globex Corporation, its subsidiaries, or its stockholders. All rights reserved."

I found this idea posited as an rpg setting, but I think it would make a better book, or maybe a tv series.

As an alternative to having your organs harvested and resold to cover your corporate debts, you've enlisted as a corporate mercenary. Now you're shown a 60 minute training video, a 30 minute briefing video, issued an ExtraValueGun™, and dropped in a corporate war zone. Your mission objectives are clearly printed on a nice card that also lists your expenses for training and equipment, your payment for this mission, and your outstanding debt to the Corp. You'll be billed for any medical treatment you may need. For the remaining 2 weeks of your life expectancy you will be serving the interests of the new owners of your service contract by shooting whoever stands in the way of their maximum shareholder value. Rival corporations, pesky indigenous peoples, unenlightened foreign governments, whatever. You can't care, your contract says so.

McMercenaries. Would you like explosions with that?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ok--so when you say that nothing on this page is true, you mean that I won't actually be whisked away in the middle of the morning (most likely with something of a hangover) and given a red and yellow plastic gun with which to blow away the opposition to giant monster coorporations in the third world?

Well that's sad. Now what am I going to do when I default on my loans?

Speaking of--where is the rest of my story? And I want a third installment. I don't care what else you're working on or thinking about. I'm more important (and very self-centered). Get on it.

Dan said...

It's coming... eventually.

And sign in with your gmail before leaving a comment so it shows who you are.

The Grand Empress of Beverly said...

Fine. But I don't understand why I should bother. You already know who I am. I think maybe I'll continue commenting anonymously, just to piss you off.

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